IN FAILURE LIES THE SEED OF SUCCESS

The basic point  I wish to get across is that we ought  to change our perceptions of failure.  Do not view failure as permanent, it is temporary. Do not call it failure , call it a reverse, or  a set back if you will.Do not think of a reverse  negatively, think of it also positively in terms of the lessons it can teach you.

And if you manage to successfully view  a failure as a reverse, you will never think of it as an end of the road situation. Instead you will view it as a bend in the road , which could lead onto broader avenues.

As a teenagers, your reverses,  at this time of the year at least, are largely of academic kind. To you—and more importantly to your parents—I would like to pose one question. Think of any topper in  any  endeavour , be it sports or painting or business or in politics or in performing arts. Was that person a  topper  in studies ? The  answer , most definitely is NO.  So if the best are not really academic  successes , a reverse can never be a closed chapter in your career. Let me give you a very concrete example, which sounds  incredible,  but which can be  checked in a jiffy in these days of the internet. Without argument, the greatest scientist of the last century, whose  abstruse theories  are still being tested , was Albert Einstein. And do you know he failed in his first attempt at the entrance examination for admission to the famed  Swiss Federal  Institute of Technology  at  zurich at age of 16? Yet he landed up with the noble prize………………

Similarly, you can search for the legendary  story of Robert  de  Bruce, the legendary king of Scotland who was inspired by a spider , after failing to dislodge the british from his country in six battles. He succeeded in his seventh attempt.

Reverses may be linked with academics in our competitive  milieu, but as we all realise, reverses will occur in every field; in our finances , our occupation , our relationships and many more . It is therefore imperative   that we learn  to analyse our reverses and never fear them.

Every decision  we take has 50 percent  chance of success ; and an equal chance of failure.  Yet we all have to take decisions . So we must accept that the road to success  will always be littered with mistakes  and  reverses . It is the willingness to learn from our reverses  that is the critical difference between  successful people  and the not -so- successful ones.

So do not be terrified of failure, or reverses. Often , as in the cases of Einstein and King Robert , in failure lies the seed of success. Hence,as they say, “ Greatness lies  not in never  falling , but in rising every time we fall.”

Perfection is a journey ,not a destination

Too much emphasis on a good thing can turn out to be a bad thing. I know this sounds like a contradicition but if you reflect a bit on what i have said, it makes eminent sense. For an everyday example,think of your favourite dessert. One piece of  it and you will love it.You will be perhaps be motivated to ask for one more piece. But many servings will not add to your enjoyment; they will only make you sick and you will realise the meaning of the word gluttony.
It is the same with everything we hanker after; especially perfection. We all praise the one who is perfect and perfection is genereally acknowledged as the ultimate state of being. On the face of it,there is nothing wrong in the quest of perfection. But that quest has to have its limitation; just as we should know when we should be saying NO to that helping of dessert.
Why should we limit ourselves, is a natural question. I think there is a fine distinction here which should be noted. The persuit of anything which is a possitive quality is never a bad thing. But if it is relentless, if it is being achieved at any cost, if it is going to make us unhappy individuals, then it is not so desirable. There are many people whom I have met who are seeking the ultimate perfection in their endeavour. May be it is painting ,dancing or athletics. There quest is undoubtedly noble but I have noticed that they sometimes get frustrated along their 'noble' journey. They are often angry that they are not achieving the desired goal in the time frame they had set for themselves, or that the last lap is eluding them or whatever. The quest then change their personality in two ways -- it makes them unhappy as individuals and, more dangerously , it also make them less tolerant of imperfections, espeically imperfect people, around them.
While the attainment of perfection is a small achievement, the point of it all is that we must not reject imperfections. We must embrace imperfections, as imperfections are the natural state of life.
Our bodies are not symmetrical; indeed the concept of beauty lies in the asymmetry of faces. An overwhelming majority of us are right handed , we do not have equal strength in both limbs; in many case they are not even equal in length. So we are imperfect human beings and we should accept imperfections and not be contemptuous of those who are imperfect than us.Yet that is what I see all around me, a kind of hauteur and arrogance in those who know their craft better than others.
It is important to enjoy the journey to perfection and not let it corrode our perspective. It would also be nice to help others along the way ,even if it is difficult in these competitive times.
As of myself, I would prefer someone who is humble and imperfect to someone who is arrogant , yet almost perfect.               

THE CHANGE WITHIN

Rely on friends through turgid waters of  life :- What should be the relationship between the true friends ,I sometimes ponder.Are we supposed to be diplomatic with them or should we speak out the truth even if it is means risking that friendship. A generation ago,that dilemma  did not exist.
 My fathers friend help themselves open for scrutiny among themselves;many sought well meaning advice from each other.
A friend was a friend forever because the bond of friendship strech across the generation - my dad's
parents would know his friend's parents and then it peraphs went back another generation.Now the equation has changed for many people,especially for the sucessful(personally I have expirenced friends are far better than relatives at times) .
The value of friendship itself has diminished and the role of a friend has undergone a sea-change.Rare is the one who seeks true friends for their advice,we often seek yes men in the form of friends as we scale the social ladder.The definition of friendship has also changed irrevocably as we do not have time and energy to store value by it and let the plant flourish.                                                                                 
 A friend today in the urban jungle has largely come to mean a peer or a bussiness associate.And as we quit jobs and move on,we drop old friends and grow new friendships.But are these relationships actually friendships???
I sometimes think that these times are different;the world is changing at too rapid a pace and true friendship are not really needed.These days are of facebook friends and twitter relationships.Actually  it is routine for youngsters to have 600 and even a thousand friends on social networking sites.I am agast as I wonder if all these are really friends? Can one be friends with a person one has never met or never seen?
Why do we need true friends in these days of virtual reality? Because as you will have discovered,we all need a constant north star to rely on as we journey through the turgid waters of life. In these daysof false values,false gospels and especially false friends,it is only a true friend who can give us a reality check and tell us when err.We need such friends as benchmarks and sounding boards.
Even olympic long-distance runners rely on a marker,who set the pace,for them to run a winning race.When Roman generals returned from victorious campaigns,they had a slave standing next to them in their chariots as they did a victory lap around the stadium in front of jubilant crowds and the emperor.His job was to mutter two words,"Memento Mori",in the ear of the general.They meant - you are mortal.It was an institution created keep the general's pride in check.
Genuine friends are comforting as they understand our silences,our moods and our hurts.But most importantly,we need them to whisper the magic words,"Memento Mori",through life.........    

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF TO REALISE POTENTIAL!

One trait that I can find getting more common with each passing day is that people are not beign themselves.They are constantly trying to become another personality- a transformation which is replete with behavioral and psychological issues.
One just has to visit a call centre and you will find Hari from kanpur becoming Harry from Kansas city replete with the drawl. People visit the US for a few days and their attitude to life undergoes a sea change; not to mention their accents.Why do we undergo this transformation?
       The cases I refer may be to youngsters.But the malaise evident in the older age groups too.Among executives in MNCs, It is not uncommon to find the 40-plus age group trying hard to live up to an acquired lifestyle and taste to keep up with their foreign bosses. They will serve cheese and wine at get-togethers and try their best to learn the difference between Gorgonzala and Camembert cheeses, trying to remember which is french and which Italian.On the face of it there is no harm in upscaling in knowledge and lifestyle, but the danger lies in forgetting who we are actually are.
I can give you an example from the world of performing arts, one is influenced by one's guru and adopts a similiar style. But one cannot live a life believing that s/he is that guru .There is a distinction between emulation and in becoming someone else .
There is a philosophy to beign yourself . For starters , it would be helpful to describe yourself in one word .Haughty, self-effacing , shy......... which one of these adjectives fits you aptly? Why is it that you want to be someone else ? What are your comfort zones ? What complexes do you have and how do you acquire them ? If you examine yourself with these questions , you will find the answers that you are seeking in beign yourself .
In my view , I find that people who are not confident about themselves and suffer from low self-esteem are particularly prone to this attitude . But what we must understand that such people are not the stereotyped depressives who are easy to spot . It is also the high flying executives who go bussiness class and try to acquire a stiff upper lip and a glacial look --- in the beliefthat such is the attitude of a bussiness tycoon --- who also suffer from the syndrome.
We have to realise that learning and improving ourselves is a process of evolution but the process should enhance the indiviual in you and not make you someone else , you are part of the crowd .
You have to realise that if the weakness is you , the power is also you. You cannot get that power else where as the only personality that you can depend upon freely is your own . It belongs to YOU.               

BELIVE IN YOURSELF

YOU HAVE TO REALISE THAT IF THE WEAKNESS IS YOU,THE POWER IS ALSO YOU.
YOU CANNOT GRT THAT POWER ELSEWHERE AS THE ONLY PERSONALITY THAT YOU CAN DEPEND UPON FREELY IS YOUR OWN .
IT BELONGS TO YOU!

BELIVE IN YOURSELF

YOU HAVE TO REALISE THAT IF THE WEAKNESS IS YOU,THE POWER IS ALSO YOU.
YOU CANNOT GET THAT POWER ELSEWHERE AS THE ONLY PERSONALITY THAT YOU CAN DEPEND UPON FREELY IS YOUR OWN.IT BELONGS TO YOU!